Your Golden Age
I have this theory that we are all meant to be a certain age.
It goes like this.
When you are born (actually probably before you were born to be honest), you have an age range or a phase of life that is perfectly aligned with you. A Golden Age, you might say. Let's be clear, I don't mean
a Golden Birthday - the year in which your birthday matches the year that you were born); and I don't mean
the Golden Years - what we commonly think of as retirement or old age; and I'm not talking about
THE Golden Age - the peak period in the history of a collective nation or people.
This is different. This is YOUR Golden Age - a phase of life that from the very beginning of time, you were perfectly suited for.
I have friends who talk about childhood like they would crawl back onto their middle school bus if they could. Or you know those people (you might be one of them) who say that their college or university years were the best of their lives? Or how about folks who love the early phase of parenting so much that they do it again and again and again? I have 50 year-old pals who relish the memory of their 40s and 70 year-old friends who wouldn't turn back time if they could. Maybe it's when you started your career, when you found your true love, or when you were a mingling single.
My Golden Age is my 80s. Since I was a teenager, I have wanted to be an old woman. I can picture myself - gray, messy, curly hair sticking out at every angle, uncoordinated bold clothing, big glasses and bigger costume jewelry. I can hear my loud, opinionated voice and my louder laugh. I can feel the self-acceptance I've cultivated and the self-love I exude. I see myself surrounded by the young people (women) I mentor like they were my own daughter. I hear myself pause to give space for curiosity over defensiveness. I see the people-pleasing I've abolished and the need to be liked that I've said good-bye to. I'm too much and I like it. I don't give a shyt anymore and that freedom looks mighty fine on me.
So, what's YOUR Golden Age?
Perhaps you knew as soon as I asked the question or maybe you still don't have a clue. How could you find out? Start by asking some questions. What do I relish? What do I dread? What do I look forward to? What do I wish I could do - or be - again? Who do I admire for where they are in life? Who do I pity for the phase they are in? If you still don't have an answer, give it time. It will come.
I'll tell you what is NOT my Golden Age
This phase of motherhood. To say that I am struggling with it is an understatement. I look at my hard-headed, free-spirited, super-determined child with a vast emotional reach and a fierce mind of her own. And I tell myself all of that will keep her alive in this patriarchal world that will try to eat her up and spit her out. But, right now, as her primary caregiver, it is really effing hard.
