I Need

My friend is a public school kindergarten teacher {aka a damn hero}. Her first year in a career that was hard to begin with was made nearly impossible thanks to Covid. The job is hard for a number of reasons: 5 year-olds, an underfunded school system, 5 year-olds, an overworked teaching staff, 5 year-olds, long days, 5 year-olds, low pay, 5 year-olds...did I mention all the 5 year-olds?

She had her first evaluation the other day and although she walked into it fully believing that she was failing everyone in the equation {her students, their parents, her colleagues, her boss, the entire institute of education} she was informed that she is actually doing a bang-up job. She called me on her way to work the next morning and the extra kick in her step was obvious. Nothing had changed except that she had received acknowledgment for what she was doing.

Her experience hit home. I think back to most of the difficult things I have done in my life and realize that if I hadn't received acknowledgment I probably wouldn't have stuck with them. And I see proof of the opposite as well - all those things I left on the table...abandoned...just because my effort, my dream, my experience wasn't acknowledged. If you know me, this may surprise you. I'm such an independent go-getter with nary a self-doubt to be found, and yet, mixed in with all that can-do attitude, is this deep desire to be acknowledged.

My husband isn't a natural acknowledger. It's not in him to give accolades for a job well done. It's not that he doesn't appreciate it, it's just that his love language is not of the verbal variety. So, what did I do? I divorced the bastard, of course! Just kidding. I told him what I needed and then I reminded him. I don't expect that he would know what I need to be acknowledged for, and when, so I use my words to get my need met. Ezra, next time you walk into the bedroom you should open the closet and be like "Wow! It is so organized in here! This is an amazing feat of ingenuity - this here organizational prowess is a rare gift, I tell you." And he does.